Reports: Rutgers Student Killed Himself After Roommate Videotaped Him In Gay Encounter

This post is a not true, total fabrication.

It definitely happened. I’m a student at Rutgers currently, and they’re still not telling us everything.

Suicide is a tragedy, but it’s no one’s fault but the one who commits it. Victim mentality? Get oer it.

Also, you’re an ass. His roommate had no right to do what he did. And what he did definitely added to it. I can’t believe that the same results would not come about for a lot of people exposed in apparently humiliating circumstances. I’m straight and people know it, but if someone videotaped me making out with even my boyfriend and posted it on the web without my consent, I would be mortified. Did you ever think that maybe no one in his family knew? Maybe he hadn’t come out yet? Maybe he was then excommunicated from his family, friends, etc.? This is another form of bullying and there have been tons of instances in the recent past where kids have wound up committing suicide because of someone bullying them.

Drew,
you seem to be misunderstanding what suicide is about and why it happens. NO! Suicide is not selfish! And most people who do take their own lives are dealing with significant and painful mental health issues such as depression, or anxiety. Unless you have been there, unless you have seen the world through the lens of depression, you can’t begin to imagine what a bleak world it is. We have no idea what kind of family the suicide victim came from. Perhaps his parents were intolerant and homophbic, what would this mean for this young man’s life and sanity? Not to mention the homophobic world we live in….So I reccomend not commenting until you understand this tragic psychological phenomena.

Perhaps the saddest element of this story is that nobody came to Tyler’s aid when he was first diagnosed. There are proven therapies and other ways to help poor confused individuals like Tyler. He didn’t have to go through life that way and it was inevitable that it would lead to his undoing sooner or later – dirtball roommate or not.

If this story spurs one single SSAD sufferer to seek help before it’s too late, Tyler will not have died in vain.

First off, Samuel Le’s comment is inappropriate. It is a discussion for another time, at best, and is not at issue here.

What is at issue is whether Tyler’s roommates should be considered homophobic for outing a gay friend when gays consider outing to be healthy. I bring it up again because I read in the Ridgewood media that hate crime charges are being considered. Which is ridiculous. Hetero taping is OK, but gay taping is federal offense and worth a decade or so in prison.

While I understand that many of you are saying about this not necessarily being as severe as it seems, one must be reminded of the broader social implications of this story. Gay and Lesbian teens are two to three times more likely to kill themselves as their hetero peers (some studies reflect higher rates). The tragedy is that this is by far not an isolated instance, all over the country gay and lesbian kids are bullied, and abused for preferring the wrong body part. Sadly, many are kids who don’t want a fight so these kids make a choice due to self hatred, lo self esteem, and many other feelings of not belonging. So the response by many in horror and outrage at this is the ‘We’ve had enough’ concept. Too many good, considerate kids walk out of school and off of a bridge because of people who we’re too weak to not hurt and too self involved to assist. Do I think that their are many great hetero kids who take thei lives needlessly, absolutely. But it’s an epidemic, in an America that has a helluva long way to go. Case in point, try holding hands with a guy friend in the street, its still not socially acceptable. I hope that whether or not you agree with how this case is being litigated, I hope you can see the sadness of the situation and the need to be a warrior against hate for your future kids and present friends.

While Drew is correct, that no body made Tyler commit suicide, there is an alarming epidemic of younger gay youth taking their lives. RJ’s numbers are correct. I do not believe there needs to be as much mental issues present as others have stated here. Being young and gay (and not out), is horrible enough. Kids at school teasing you about it is nearly all you can take. Such during such conflicted times as one grows into adulthood, and triy to find themselves, there is still a limit as to how much you can take. I think (think) that the two students who webcasted crossed this line.

Anyone who had this done to them straight or gay would be horrified, embararassed. There is however, the reality of our gay youth more deeply affected. Would’nt we all agree this is a direct function of our society’s general feelings of homosexuality being “Wrong”?

There is a wonderful project getting more and more attention called “It gets Better”. I wish that this young man had access to this program, and someone older to say is all going to be OK. I guess I am kind of repeating what RJ said, but I do understand that Drew’s point can be made to be at least; pushing someone over that line vs. someone taking their own life is a very thin line. All of our feelings about this horrible situation can be channeled into assisting with Dan Savage’s “It gets Better” Project and get it out there more.

Oops…sorry..didn’t read before I posted. I won’t respond if the troll replies.

I think the word you are looking for is homosexual, Angus. Please stop using the word gay in reference to homosexuals and look up what gay really means. Oh by the way it is cute how you make up rules as you go.

Sorry, but I totally had to clear this up with our friend Rob (above). I absolutely know was it’s like to be bullied, I was bullied from my earliest school days all the way through high school, and it had serious social (and even some eventual psychological) effects. I could either have treated myself like a victim (which I was, and which I often did), or rise above it and remember I was better than petty hazing.

Don’t jump to any conclusions, man. It is stupid assumptions and lame accusations like yours that degrade our society.

Wait wait wait… Someone made an accusation against me, I pop up to defend myself and I’m the one getting chastised?… I didn’t call ANYONE stupid or lame (though I could point out a few times above when people literally did call ME names), but applied those terms (rightly) to their assumptions and accusations. All I was trying to say is that my comments were not made in ignorance of the issue of bullying, and that it’s unwise to automatically assume that people who disagree are uninformed. But anyway, I think you’re still missing the point of the story, but I guess that’s your right as the “reporter.” This wasn’t a hate crime, I’m not even sure it was bullying, I think it was more a case of a cruel prank, but the content of the video seems relatively immaterial.

Your house, yes, but your rules could sure use some adjustments.

Re: assumptions and opinons, I respectfully suggest you do the same. (And the last thing I want to do is take further issues with any of your criticisms of anything, since it seems they’re not allowed.)