The New Yorker has published a major new article by Ian Parker on the September 2010 death of Rutgers first-year Tyler Clementi. Clementi, targeted by his roommate in a campaign of webcam spying and harassment, killed himself by jumping off the George Washington Bridge. His roommate, Dharun Ravi, will face trial next month on a long list of charges arising from the incident.
The article provides the fullest and clearest account to date of the circumstances that led to Clementi’s suicide, and it’s well worth reading. But it bungles some important elements of the story, and bungles them in ways that serve to obscure important questions.
Here’s a crucial passage debunking the received wisdom about the incident:
“It became widely understood that a closeted student at Rutgers had committed suicide after video of him having sex with a man was secretly shot and posted online. In fact, there was no posting, no observed sex, and no closet.”
Well, sort of.
I wrote about the Clementi suicide on the day it broke, and on a number of occasions afterward, and I don’t particularly recognize this “widely understood” narrative. In fact, each of the three supposed debunkings muddies the waters on complex issues.
First there is the question of whether Clementi was “closeted.” Clearly he was openly gay in some circles. But as Parker himself reports, he had come out to his parents less than a month before he died, just three days before he started school at Rutgers. He had not been out in high school, and Ravi only learned he was gay by uncovering anonymous message board posts associated with Clementi’s email address. “Out” is not a binary concept, and it’s not at all unreasonable to describe Davi’s actions — telling his friends Clementi was gay and posting the news on a public Twitter account — as “outing.”
Second, there’s the question of whether Ravi saw Clementi having sex while he was spying via webcam. Ravi says he didn’t, and there’s no evidence to refute his claim. At the time Ravi boasted on Twitter of having seen Clementi “making out,” and from Parker’s account that does seem like the most accurate description. But to say there was “no observed sex” remains problematic. Setting aside the possibility that Ravi saw more than he claims, the fact is he attempted to spy on Clementi having sex and tweeted that he had caught him in the act.
Immediately after the first incident, Ravi’s friend Molly Wei, who had spied on Clementi with him, IM’ed a friend “OH MY FKING GOD … he’s kissing a guy right now … like THEY WERE GROPING EACH OTHER EWW.” Given that context, the question of how much skin the two saw, and in what exact configuration, seems somewhat beside the point.
Finally, there is the issue of whether the video was “posted online.” Here Parker is on stronger ground, as initial reporting did suggest that the webcam footage was broadcast, when in fact it was not. On the one occasion in which Ravi was successful in spying on Clementi, the stream only went as far as Wei’s dorm room, and was neither distributed nor archived.
But — again, as Parker himself reports — when Clementi asked for the dorm room again days later, Ravi announced on Twitter that he would share the stream with “anyone with iChat” who was reading his feed. Ravi described the event as “a viewing party,” and solicited friends to watch both in person and online. It’s only because Clementi was surreptitiously monitoring Ravi’s Twitter account that he knew to turn off Ravi’s computer before anything could be broadcast that night.
So no, Ravi didn’t share the stream. But he did try to, and he tried to share it widely.
Parker isn’t wrong about any of these things, not exactly. But in each case his rush to correct the record winds up understating Ravi’s bad acts. Even if Clementi wasn’t “closeted,” Ravi still outed him inappropriately, multiple times. Even if Ravi didn’t spy on Clementi having sex, he still violated his privacy by snooping on intimate sexual acts. And if he didn’t broadcast those acts to a wide audience, it wasn’t for a lack of trying.
And Parker’s habit of obscuring through nitpicking extends to the more basic issue of what the hell Ravi was up to in the first place. Parker returns again and again to the question of whether Ravi’s act rises to the level of the bias crime of anti-gay intimidation with which he has been charged, at one point suggesting that the charge represents an “attempt to criminalize teen-age odiousness by using statutes aimed at people more easily recognizable as hate-mongers and perverts.”
But this is a false dichotomy, and a bizarre one. There is no question as to whether Ravi was anti-gay — he expressed his revulsion at Clementi’s orientation repeatedly and gleefully. That this wasn’t the vicious bigotry of the “hate-monger” is hardly a defense of his actions.
What’s obvious from Parker’s reporting, but which seems to have escaped Parker himself, is the particular kind of asshole Ravi is. No, he’s not a hate-fueled homophobe. He’s not a basher or a zealot. He’s just a garden-variety douchebag. He’s the kind of guy who, on learning that his assigned college roommate is gay, posts about it on Twitter along with a link to that roommate’s postings on a gay message board. He’s the kind of guy who tries to trick his friends into installing monitoring software so he can turn their bedroom computers into spycams. He’s the kind of guy who texts his friends to say that he hates poor people and that January is “a gay month.”
Parker thinks his portrayal of Ravi raises hard questions about the government’s prosecution, but I have to admit that I fail to see what those questions are. The qualified defenses he offers for Ravi’s character are ones I addressed in a blogpost the day after this story first broke in 2010, and the lessons I gleaned then are the ones I glean now:
Dharun Ravi acted like a jackass in the first month of his first year of college. He behaved with casual cruelty and lack of concern for Clementi’s well-being. He gave no thought to the consequences of his actions for himself or others. And now Clementi is dead and Ravi’s life is ruined, and there’s no question at all that Ravi set those two calamities in motion.
Dharun Ravi acted like a jackass in the first month of his first year in college, and it ruined his life.
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January 30, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Kevin T. Keith (@KTKeith)
Yes to all the above. And (meaning but) . . .
The douchebag vs. homophobe dichotomy can be explored a little further. Ravi gets sympathetic treatment here essentially because he doesn’t come on like Fred Phelps or the stereotype redneck basher. But there’s a lot more of his kind of a casual homophobia than there is the foaming-at-the-mouth kind, and it’s important to recognize that it’s serious. I suspect the casual “Oh that’s so gay!” high school homophobia exists within a fairly fluid spectrum: some of the queasy hostility that a lot of young people in a homophobic society feel resolves itself as they mature and get more experience, but some can as easily run the other way into more and more-virulent actions. Ravi started out sort of queasy-hostile and with the aid of his douchebag friends slid along the spectrum, not to outright hostility or bashing, but to continuing to regard gay people as negligible and “other”, and to treating his roommate as both an object of revulsion and someone whose interests didn’t count. There are many suggestions in the article that he could have gone the other way – but he didn’t.
It’s a shock that this incident turned out as tragically as it did, and no doubt Ravi didn’t intend it to, but he did what he did, and it was motivated by his unreconstructed homophobia. There used to be a kind of genteel racism that was accepted because it was discreet; there is also a genteel homophobia that is not spoken aloud but still justifies hostile behavior, especially under a “respectable” veneer: “I was just joking”; “tradition”; “for the children”. Ravi’s prankishness and rationalizations allow him to claim innocence, but it was his homophobia that pushed another person over the edge to suicide, just as much as if he’d beaten him with his fists.
In that light also, I can’t be bothered to turn my focus on Ravi’s troubles. In your first post and this one, you rightly note that being a jackass can ruin your life. But Ravi’s ruined life doesn’t garner that much sympathy from me. The fact that he drove his roommate to suicide is all that matters to me in this situation. The fact that Ravi didn’t intend that result, or even that he had the seeds of a more decent person than he is inside him, are beside the point as well. If he’d behaved better, he wouldn’t be facing charges, it’s true, but it’s also true that a young person right on the cusp of the best part of his life would now still be alive. That’s the best reason not to be an abusive, homophobic jackass, and Ravi’s failure to care about that – not his failure to prudently protect his own career prospects – is the truly tragic part of this incident, in my view.
I also don’t really suspect that his life is “ruined”. Hopefully – please God – he won’t be coming back to Rutgers, but there are plenty of schools who will have him. Most of his future employers and acquaintances won’t bother to Google his name, and there are many who wouldn’t care about what he did if they did find it out. He’ll be free to achieve almost any life or lifestyle he wants, and it’s really only a question of his own conscience – proven to be weak or nonexistent so far – whether he ever realizes what he did wrong, or cares.
Finally, one point in the article that struck me forcefully: this asshole got into Rutgers with a 2.88 GPA and “high S.A.T. scores”? Shit, *I* could have gone to Rutgers. Why did nobody tell me?
January 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Curtis
Excellent points. What is so strange is how many people are heralding the New Yorker piece as containing groundbreaking new details. In reality, all the IM’s are part of the court documentation and not new at all. Parker got a few new comments from attorney’s and Ravi’s friends – but nothing at all that sheds new light on the facts of the case.
January 30, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Angus Johnston
I think you’re exactly right about Ravi’s homophobia, Kevin. Parker seems to think that because Ravi was “just” a dick and not a seething hater, that mitigates his crimes. But the vast majority of bigots of any stripe aren’t cartoon villains, and to hold up the minority as the standard keeps us from seeing the whole of the problem for what it is.
A similar illogic is at work in Parker’s dismissal of the homophobia behind Ravi’s Twitter outing of Clementi for “making out with a dude.” Parker writes that “one can imagine female partners in Room 30 whose age, appearance, or sexual tastes might also have inspired Ravi to write a sarcastic tweet,” but that business about specific partners gives the game away — any attempt to imagine those partners leads us to imagine the reasons Ravi would have mocked them and the hateful tweets they would have inspired. That Ravi is presumptively capable of misogyny as well as homophobia is hardly a point in his favor.
As for Ravi’s troubles and my emphasis on them, what I was getting at here was a refocusing of the blame in the wake of Parker’s attempt to mitigate it. Whatever happens to Ravi is not a mere side-effect of some sort of basically benign “bro” behavior, because Ravi’s brand of broism isn’t benign. The kinds of acts Ravi engaged in with Clementi usually won’t result in death or public disgrace, but in this instance they did, and that they did wasn’t some unpredictable thing. Ravi did these things, they had a foreseeable (if not predictable) result, and now he has to live with the consequences.
January 30, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Angus Johnston
Curtis, the IMs and texts may not be new to the public record, but they are newly-published, and Parker does a good job in constructing a narrative around them. As I said, I’ve been following the case from the beginning, and there were a lot of details here I hadn’t seen before.
You’re right, though, that the basic outline of the story was apparent very early on, and that there’s not much here to change that.
January 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Curtis
I agree with Kevin’s comments too that Ravi’s life is most likely not ruined. The fact that he doesn’t show any remorse is also troubling. The whole Ian Parker article just seems weird because his spin is so one-sided. If Ravi comes out as gay himself in a few years and that is used as a defense it would seem just as odd: “Look, our client is gay too so this couldn’t have been a hate crime and he can’t be homophobic.” There is also somewhere in the New Yorker article where Ravi says he has a really close gay friend. Ian Parker doesn’t even challenge that as it could just as easily be pure bullshit. There are so many inconsistencies.
January 30, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Curtis
OK, thanks. I stand corrected about the IM’s. As soon as the story first broke, I “followed” as many of Dharun’s twitter friends as I could to observe them and study their histories (those who didn’t immediately lock down their accounts). Most were just very defensive against “activist gays” and kept insisting Ravi was not homophobic at all. Everyone, including Ravi seemed acutely aware that his actions did indeed play a part in the suicide and were desperately trying to fabricate a new, sympathetic narrative.
January 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Angus Johnston
On the question of whether Ravi’s life is ruined, I’m comfortable standing by my original take. There’s a good chance that Ravi will be convicted of a felony this spring. Even if he somehow gets off, this is with him forever — when the first Google hit on your name is the Wikipedia article on the college roommate you drove to suicide, that’s not something that stays a secret. Not from employers, not from romantic partners, not from anybody.
And if he’s convicted of all the charges he’s facing, he’s going to prison for quite a few years.
January 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Curtis
Sorry, I forgot to add something else I would like to know. A key period seems to be the time Ravi was in the room and possibly witnessed Tyler writing the suicide(?) note. This was after Tyler had reported him to staff. There was most certainly some type of conversation, however short, between Ravi and Tyler. But Ravi will never reveal that because of possible self-incrimination. I strongly suspect something very negative happened because right after that was when Tyler left to commit suicide. If Ravi had been sincerely apologetic as he claims, I don’t think Tyler would have left so soon. Something just seems strange about that last interaction and how Ian Parker sort of glosses over it.
January 30, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Curtis
I wonder why M.B. is going to be a prosecution witness. Also, “The (suicide?) note’s contents have not yet been disclosed to the Clementi family. That seems very bizarre. Why would law enforcement keep Tyler’s note from his family?
January 30, 2012 at 10:04 pm
Jay Knott
“He’s just a garden-variety douchebag”. No, he and Molly Wei are typical old-style students with a crass sense of humour. Shamelessly privileged and politically incorrect. It’s “important to recognise” that “casual homophobia” is “serious”, says one commenter above. That’s the attitude that leads to speech codes, and to comments like “Ravi’s ruined life doesn’t garner that much sympathy from me” from another commenter. No, it’s not serious. It’s a joke.
What is serious is the damage done to Ravi, and the police pressure on Wei. It’s not ‘acting like a jackass’ that ruined Ravi’s life, otherwise there’d be a lot of ruined lives around. Have none of the holier-than-thou commenters above ever acted crassly or cruelly? No, it’s the current p.c. climate that’s done the damage. Nothing can bring Clementi back. Hopefully, Dharun will fully recover.
January 30, 2012 at 10:44 pm
Shay
Jay, that’s some pretty amazing false equivalency in the last sentence — as if both students were victims of the same ruthless engine. I don’t have much sympathy for someone who callously tortured his roommate, leading to said roommate’s suicide.
But I don’t know why I’m engaging. Anyone who whines about the “p.c. culture” is really just concerned that voicing bigotry is no longer dignified.
January 31, 2012 at 4:29 am
jah rooney
Ravi is probably closeted himself…..think about it.
January 31, 2012 at 9:44 am
Morning pride 1/31 | The Reading Room
[…] – The New York Times profile of Tyler Clementi’s anti-gay privacy-invading roommate twists a few of the details. […]
January 31, 2012 at 10:05 am
Jay Knott
Shay – “Hopefully, Dharun will fully recover”. What’s the ‘false equivalency’? No, I didn’t imply the two are victims of the same thing. Clementi was a victim of a cruel joke combined with his own sensitivity, whereas Ravi is a victim of hate crime hysteria. He’s could get ten years! I’m not ‘just concerned that voicing bigotry is no longer dignified’. I’m concerned that it’s become a felony.
January 31, 2012 at 11:54 am
Richard
I’m sure it will make all the villagers with torches and pitchforks squeal with joy to be reminded that the felony and ten year sentence are nothing – according to the article, if convicted he’ll be deported… Nothing can change what’s happened; nothing – no jail sentence, no public humiliation, no deportation – is going to bring Clementi back from that river. Howling for vengeance says significantly more about YOU than it does about the idiot who committed the crimes.
January 31, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Bill
Jay, your remarks are absurd – no logic at all. According to your reasoning a frat boy who drinks 8 beers, hops in his car, and runs over and kills a 10 years old girl is a victim of “PC insanity” because he simply wanted to party and have fun.
Sorry, but in the real world – adults need to take responsibility. Ravi gutlessly bullied Tyler. He didn’t even have the courage to do it to his face but instead did it behind his back – and tried to rally others to mock and demonize Tyler. Those are the facts you can’t deny.
February 3, 2012 at 3:38 pm
industrykarl
I commend the feature-length article on this story and it being brought to a larger audience and I think the entire thing is a tragedy. I am not someone who hates on youth the way I feel my generation was distrusted and dismissed.
But this microcosm of sheltered, clueless teenagers perpetrating voyeuristic intrusion on an already fragile person blew my mind: two roommates who tweet & post more verbiage about each other than they physically say to each other; teens so web savvy they’ve been in chat communities since their early teens but still harbor sheltered stereotypes on sexuality, class and wealth. Not to mention complete ignorance of the public reach of what they were doing. A dead man’s IMs, tweets, posts and topless avatar are all public record now not to mention the harvested evidential tweets, texts and IMs of Molly Wei & Dharun Ravi’s. This is what you’d call an epic #fail all around.
I don’t know the answer to all of the issues raised – two guys in an 11 x 16 shared space with no privacy, real or imagined. Homophobic idiocy. A kid who FB’d his location before leaving the world at his own impulse. It’s awful and when even some adults can’t handle the scope of the Web’s trap-doors it really just goes to show that technology without real-world intuitive sense, engagement and communication skills is a virtual and literal disaster waiting to happen. I think the scope of this story is beyond what any one writer can harness at this point. I’m glad for the discussion it’s bringing and the contributions we can choose from as it unfolds.
February 3, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Ace
Agree w/Industrykarl about the byzantine qualities of the tech world married to the very real world of a closed dorm space.
Is this an intimidation-bias case? No. It’s a boorish young guy who’s got some tech know-how and a certain amount of uneasiness that he’s sharing a tight space w/ a gay man, and who seems peeved that he’s got to keep abandoning his room to his roommate dalliances.
All of this amounts to Dharun being sent to another dorm room and possibly some kind of academic probation. Of course, Tyler’s suicide changes all this, but it really shouldn’t.
Know one will know why the young man killed himself, but I would bet it has much more to do w/his relationship w/his mother. Just a few weeks before Tyler says that his, “mom has basically completely rejected me.” The article mentions the T-shirt Tyler had made as a teenager that said “he loved his mommy.” Additionally, there’s passing reference to the George Washington Bridge being a place he and his mother had visited prior, and last Tyler calls and talks to his mother on the last day of his life.
Admittedly, this is pop psychology on my part. My larger point is that these kind of bias-laws are misguided b/c they attempt to adjudicate the manifold complexities of personal interaction.
People do not need sensitivity training. Everyone needs de-sensitivity training.
February 6, 2012 at 11:23 pm
anonymous
I’m just not willing to declare intent to harm meaningless in assigning either moral blame or legal penalty. Clementi made repeated racist remarks about Ravi. Had Ravi gone on to kill himself because of that, I would gladly call Clementi an asshole. I wouldn’t suggest that he was to blame for the death.
February 7, 2012 at 7:06 pm
Trent
“And now Clementi is dead and Ravi’s life is ruined, and there’s no question at all that Ravi set those two calamities in motion.”
As a historian, you should know not to use of phrases like “there’s no question at all” when piecing evidence together. Of course there’s a question here, and to state that there’s a clear causal link between Ravi’s behavior and Clementi’s suicide is bad scholarship. How can you possibly profess to know why Clementi took his own life?
February 13, 2012 at 9:53 pm
Beyond Suicide Prevention: An Overlooked Threat to LGBTQ Youth | Pax (Ro)mama
[…] many others, even those who are out, by degrees, this represents the tip of the iceberg. They are the not-so-”lucky” […]
February 14, 2012 at 10:21 am
Jay Knott
Bill – more false equivalence. Drinking eight beers, driving and killing someone is manslaughter, because you could have predicted a greatly increased likelihood of running someone over. Making unpleasant jokes about a gay man isn’t in the same category at all – no reasonable person could have predicted the outcome. And it was Clementi’s choice – not so in the case of someone run over. Do you want the law changed so that, if you say something offensive, and someone commits suicide, it’s manslaughter?
February 24, 2012 at 9:00 am
Linus
“Second, there’s the question of whether Ravi saw Clementi having sex while he was spying via webcam. Ravi says he didn’t, and there’s no evidence to refute his claim. At the time Ravi boasted on Twitter of having seen Clementi “making out,” and from Parker’s account that does seem like the most accurate description. But to say there was “no observed sex” remains problematic. Setting aside the possibility that Ravi saw more than he claims, the fact is he attempted to spy on Clementi having sex and tweeted that he had caught him in the act.”
This confusing paragraph needs to be rewritten with the transitions and causal links made clear. It presently reads as a series of innuendos and suppositions posing as objective analysis. It does not ‘debunk the debunking claims’ of the New Yorker (that article is very good and much more nuanced in its reasoning). This post only makes things murkier, with the author coming across as prejudiced. For one thing, it strengthens the New Yorker claim that there was no observed sex . In the post above, the author’s last sentence draws on the rhetorical phrase “the fact is”. As is so often the case, this phrase is used to illustrate something other than a fact: the “fact” of what Dharun Ravi saw or wanted to see or thought he wanted to see is precisely in question.
February 24, 2012 at 9:50 am
Linus
“Parker is suggesting that the charge represents an “attempt to criminalize teen-age odiousness by using statutes aimed at people more easily recognizable as hate-mongers and perverts.”
But this is a false dichotomy, and a bizarre one. There is no question as to whether Ravi was anti-gay — he expressed his revulsion at Clementi’s orientation repeatedly and gleefully. That this wasn’t the vicious bigotry of the “hate-monger” is hardly a defense of his actions.
What’s obvious from Parker’s reporting, but which seems to have escaped Parker himself, is the particular kind of asshole Ravi is.”
I hadn’t thought of it, but there is an element of hysteria in this post that is quite interesting. When odious or revolting behavior (“being an asshole”) is equated with hate-crimes we get a sense of how the Red Guards of the Cultural Revolution saw the world.
February 24, 2012 at 11:15 pm
lloyd
The Parker article provided a lot of interesting details, but I too agree that it goes out of its way to imply that Ravi and Wei were just typical insensitive teenagers and that one ought not to link their actions with the suicide. Here is Parker’s explanation, for example, of Wei’s and Ravi’s expression of revulsion at gay sex: “like THEY WERE GROPING EACH OTHER EWWW.” Parker claims that “It seems possible that Wei’s upper-case horror sprang not just from thoughts of homosexuality but from the night’s many surprises: that Clementi, though nerdy, had sex; that he had turned Ravi out of his room; that his partner was not a student.”
Really, now, we know an expression of revulsion when we hear it. And Parker claims that maybe this was distaste for the fact that Clementi’s partner was not a student? He damages his case by this type of logic.
Many previous posts are wonderfully articulate; they strike at the heart of the case. I too regret that the Parker article is being treated as some sharply illuminating perspective on the case. Ravi’s intent to broadcast the second sexual encounter is quite clear. Nor do I believe everything that Wei says about the first session (that Ravi had no idea what was to ensue in the room). Parker also implies that Clementi was not that bothered by the cam viewing. He may have made a few comments that it wasn’t so bad (as we all do to try to suppress our feelings), but there are ample comments and actions that suggest that he was very bothered. Sometimes, we only gradually realize the seriousness of what we have experienced, and the impact only gradually sinks in.
March 11, 2012 at 1:54 am
arobins
I have had a passing interest in the case, simply because I am interested in the way that they’re applying the law. Thus far it seems to be the knee jerk response of a society that is still recovering from collective guilt over the rampant wrongdoing to a variety of vulnerable classes of people in the past, and as such has become hyper vigilant that “it shan’t happen again”. They seem to be grappling for something that will adequately fit and you can’t indict someone for being a jacka**, not in America. I say this as an African American woman. I also say this as a mother and a conservative Christian after reading Ian Parker’s article: why has no one looked at the response of the mother? Of course not for prosecution, but I truly believe that the mother’s response to Clementi’s coming out carried more weight than anything else where his suicide is concerned. Losing a child is an awful affair and no one wants to lambast the poor woman, but I think the most poignant cautionary element to the entire case lies in the acknowledgement that the support of family and friends can be a matter of life and death. Clementi himself wrote of feeling that she rejected him,
It happens in hollywood, but not often in real life. Most people do not commit suicide solely because of the actions of external acquaintances. Clementi’s suicide to me indicates a boy who had few friends, felt somewhat ostracized by his peers (for a number of reasons with his being gay only ONE of them), socially awkward, and to top it all off, rejected by the person with whom he shared the closest relationship according to the Clementi relative interviewed in Parker’s article. Bullying for any reason is of course reprehensible, but the most common element within all of the suicide cases due to bullying seems to be students whose parents were often oblivious or themselves complicit due to their own emotionally neglectful or abusive actions or a dysfunctional isolating home life. The greatest truth seems to that what is even harder than being bullied is being left with no defenses by close friends and family. As a mother, I take note.
Jane Clementi told her relatives that she was okay with it after Clementi’s suicide…but did he know this? Being a Christian myself, I have heard the rhetoric about gays. Many Christians can often be demoralizing, demeaning, and even abusive towards gays even when they are merely trying to be evangelical and don’t necessarily intend to be cruel (of course I firmly believe that it is possible to share one’s faith without doing this).I have heard the, “I don’t hate you as a sinner, I just hate your sin.” Yeah, unhuh, when did Jesus ever say this in the Bible? …oh yeah, that’s right–he didn’t. He also didn’t carry around picket signs…but that’s another set of comments for another time. In other words, I am unsettled by what I read about Tyler Clementi’s mother more than anything. During their last phone call(incidentally the most significant occurrence immediately prior to his death) they had “thoughtful moments” she said. Okay, that is unsettling to me. People are going to be cruel…that’s life but you need someone in your corner. I would not prefer my children to be gay. I’d also prefer my children not become starving artists or decide to take up mountain climbing. Every parent wants an easy life for their children. As an African American person, I know that you can change all the legislature that you want but there is no law that can change a person’s heart. In reality you cannot legislate away hate. Therefore there will always be some risk to those who belong to any protected class. Belonging to two protected classes would certainly not be a walk in the park. However, if they were gay…me, as a black conservative christian mom would love them to pieces and I would become their biggest champion because I KNOW its hard out there and you have to have a support system. I believe that God didn’t call me to judge but to love.THIS is why I am a Christian, because of the greatest love shown not to run around hating on others. I will not allow the hateful speech in my home and have reassessed my membership or affiliation with congregations which conduct themselves in such a manner. Tyler Clementi had no support system. In the end, even beyond Dharun Ravi, I think that is the most sad and damning fact in the whole situation.
March 18, 2012 at 7:22 pm
Jay Knott
Well said, ‘arobins’. ‘Collective guilt’ – you’ve nailed it on the head, bravely and honestly. You’re one of those people who refuse to use your minority status as a weapon. The article quotes Molly Wei, who has been terrorized by the police into giving evidence against her friend, allegedly saing “he’s kissing a guy right now … like they were groping each other EWW”. Guess what, holier-than-thou left wing goody-goodies. Many people react differently to seeing two men making out, two women, or a guy and a gal. Our feelings are not politically correct. Admitting this does not lead to discrimination: on the contrary, honesty is an ally of progress. If the case against Dharun Ravi succeeds, New Jersey will have made a giant step toward outlawing expressing one’s feelings.
March 19, 2012 at 7:46 pm
Jay Knott
Ravi has been found guilty. I don’t take any satisfaction from seeing my analysis of hate-crime hysteria confirmed.
The new Stalinists, the p.c. left, will be partying tonight.
May 21, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Justice in the Dharun Ravi/Tyler Clementi Case? « Student Activism
[…] me start by saying that I consider what Ravi did a serious crime. He spied, he attempted to spy again, he tried to share private sexual acts with the internet. He did all this in such a way as to tip off his victim to the abuse, and he did it with a giddy […]
September 12, 2014 at 3:53 pm
Dharun Ravi and Tyler’s coming out
[…] Clementi, “there was no posting, no observed sex, and no closet.” Writing at the same time, Angus Johnston, of the website Student Activism, says, “‘Out’ is not a binary concept, and it’s not at all unreasonable to describe […]